F is over de kop gegaan met haar fiets, ‘vet hard gevallen’. Ik heb haar, voor zo ver dat geen pijn deed, geknuffeld, aandacht gegeven. Was dat genoeg? Ik hoop het. Voor wat ik er aan kan doen als moeder. En ik breek mijn nek erover wat mindfulness me nog meer kan bieden. Ja, ik […]
Not too many. I have secondary progressive MS but I am happy that people complain about me, so I don’t have to make complaints myself. I am proud when someone thinks I am bright and positive. I am, partly. I don’t complain too much. Next to that, I am regularly depressive and I am having fights with my family.
This morning I meditated on the voice of Edel Maex, a Belgian mindful psychiatrist. He spoke about the importance of mildness in mindfulness. I agree, mildness is very important. I’m being mild, about myself, about my dear ones, about my disease. I am being mild and sometimes I am not. Like I was mild when my mother gave me a new brush for the toilet. I didn’t know I needed a new one. It was a bit bigger than the one I had and it didn’t fit well either. But okay, I accepted the gift, being mild. My father decided to put the garbage somewhere else than where I put it. At his place it was more out of sight, so it would bother people around us less. I couldn’t see my garbage either and I forgot that there was any. I accepted the kind gesture. I was being mild.
Today I forgot to put the garbage outside for the dust cart. The garbage my father put somewhere else has been around the house for 3 months now. Today I wanted to use the toilet brush. It was stuck in the box. I pulled it out and my socks were wet with dirty water.
Mildness confused with acceptance
Mildness helps, I’m sure it helps. And sometimes I am afraid of the mistake of the confusion that it can be used as ‘acceptance’. Sometimes being irritated by something can help too. First lesson should be: be mild about yourself. Noboy’s perfect!