F is over de kop gegaan met haar fiets, ‘vet hard gevallen’. Ik heb haar, voor zo ver dat geen pijn deed, geknuffeld, aandacht gegeven. Was dat genoeg? Ik hoop het. Voor wat ik er aan kan doen als moeder. En ik breek mijn nek erover wat mindfulness me nog meer kan bieden. Ja, ik […]
Do you remember I had a great theory about the mourning process at the beginning of my diagnosis?
You can read it here. This theory, about the stages the mourning process has, really is great. Only one thing I forgot to tell you and, of course myself: mourning when having MS never stops. It always goes on because MS leaves me new symptoms every time. And another thing I didn’t recognize at that time, that is that depression is not only a mourning stage but also a possible symptom. I take pills to keep me a bit tranquil.
Yesterday I decided to be more mindful
Because, knowing to be seriously ill, I can decide to do the things I can still do and be happy with it. That’s mindfull: it is what it is. So, walking with my rollator, nearly home, I decided to study at university again (I cannot work anymore). That’s an idea to be happy with for me. So that idea and that decision made me even more happy than I am now. I turned my rollator to the drive of my home from uphill to downhill and I fell. I fell very slowly and did not hurt myself. And even at that time I was happy, even with all that.