F is over de kop gegaan met haar fiets, ‘vet hard gevallen’. Ik heb haar, voor zo ver dat geen pijn deed, geknuffeld, aandacht gegeven. Was dat genoeg? Ik hoop het. Voor wat ik er aan kan doen als moeder. En ik breek mijn nek erover wat mindfulness me nog meer kan bieden. Ja, ik […]
I was depressive during the last five years and I am dizzy. These are things even a doctor not immediately connects to Multiple Sclerosis (MS). But a scan showed that I have MS, secondary progressive MS. That’s what can happen when patients have had schubs without recognising them (neither the patient nor the doctor) and not have had medications for them. Now I don’t have schubs anymore. After all I had a few since let’s say 13 years ago. Now it is getting worse all the time. Who to blame? I don’t know. It’s like it is.
Stress-/pain reduction, here and now
I am an MBCT-trainer (MBCT means mindfulness based cognitive therapy). I did the course to be a trainer before the diagnosis MS was given. The reason for me to do mindfulness was depressiveness in the first place. This is also a symptom of my MS, I know now. But the doctors I had to do with did’nt know. Now, the different sorts of pain and discomfort play a prominent role for me in practising mindfulness. I adjusted some of my meditations to stay comfortable. And I give more attention to pain and stressful parts in my body. It helps me to live with them. Getting rid of them never happens unfortunately. But the advantage of mindfulness having MS is that I can live with it now and that I can look hopefully to the future: I am not in my best days, but I am still happy! If you know how it feels to have MS you will understand that this is a great opportunity.
I mentioned the future in this blog. Even by having attention for here and now it’s easier to handle the future. Because I don’t want to focus on the future too far away it feels, here and now, easier to handle my illness.